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8:44 PM Wednesday, December 24, 2008 - 1 comments

I filled the box and wrapped it
In lilac paper covered with butterflies
Different colored ones orange, purple
I chose an orange ribbon to tie it
I put it in a shopping bag, took it to my car
As I drove to my friends house I recalled
Our friendship over the past 15 years
Betty was closer to me than anyone else
Including my family even my husband
Whom I loved with every fibre of my being
In fact the only burr in my blanket was
That they never really liked each other
My best friend and my husband were cordial
Only to please me-but I had to accept it
I got to Betty's she was expecting me
As I entered her apartment we hugged

She said" What a lovely package dear Lydea"

"Yes isn't it, I hope you like what's in it as well"

"You know I shall Lyd, you always go overboard
and please don't mention my age this birthday"

She was smiling and so was I, reaching fifty is
always a milestone. I had done so the year before.

Betty asked"Shall I open it now, you know I hate
to wait?"

"Of course open it now, I'll pour some champagne
The side bar looks so festive with the hor derves and
other goodies."

She gave an expression of surprise and said, "Oh my
Lyd  this is the ming dynasty tea set I've dreamed of having,  but I can't accept this, what would David say
if he knew you gave me your most prized possesion?
A gift he gave you on your tenth anniversary."

"David won't notice it's gone, he's been very distracted of late and is hardly interested in our home, and hasn't been for a long time."

"Oh my Lydea, you never said anything before. Is it too much work do you think. I know you always told him he works too many hours, and I agree with you. But I still can't accept this. However, I can and will feast on these favorite petit fors you made, they are my favorites"

"First let me toast you , here's your champagne.May your birthdays always be as beautiful as your friendship has always been to me, and may you never want for anything, happy birthday dear Betty! Now you can eat one of the cakes." We both smiled.

"I see you are eating a stuffed olive so I won't offer you a cake now. said Betty"

Then  as we went to sit by the cocktail table next to her small bar, she took a few bites and it was gone. We continued talking  and drinking until, Betty said "I'm feeling dizzy all of a sudden. Must be the drink. Think I should have some appetizers."

I said, "You sit I'll bring the tray here." I put the tray on the table and sat down. I looked at Betty, she looked strange. "Betty you look weird,take a cheese roll. She looked at me, and said," I ah I fe -fee- I ..."

I said, "Betty it will soon be over. All these years I thought you and David didn't like each other and it turns out you have been lovers for years. I know everything so don't struggle to deny it. You can hardly move anyway. The poison I put in the cakes takes only about 20 minutes until you are totally paralyzed, and death follows in about 15 minutes after that."

She looked horrified and trying to get up fell over on the floor, trying to speak, "oh oh no no pleeee oh no." then she was quiet.  I kneeled on the floor and looked
at her she couldn't move there was hardly any breath
her mouth was drooling.

I dragged her into her bedroom, and managed to get her on the bed. then I went into the living room to where the bar was and cleaned up everything. Next I took the prized tea set and smashed it in pieces. I left it on the cocktail table. I left the house and went  to my car where I already had my luggage. The movers had emptied my house that morning of all furniture. All that was left  there was David's clothing.

When I had found out about David and Betty, I was sick for awhile afterwards, but no one knew I knew. Then I made plans. I bought a house in another town near the ocean and I was going there now. Hundreds of miles away The furniture was on the way there too. I had taken all the money  from our joint accounts. He would have the house which is worth more than the accounts . David was wealthy and over the years I had become so too, in my own right. I hoped that I would never have to see him again.

 If I do have to speak with David it will be through my attorney. I have proof and pictures of David and Betty together. I made sure to get the evidence that could not be refuted. My lawyer told me I had  all I needed and had nothing to concern myself about.

I did not kill Betty, I'd given her a couple of sleeping pills and a muscle relaxant . she would wake up groggy and weak but she would awaken in about 6 to 8 hours. It is one birthday she will never forget.  I will never see her again either.

It will take time to overcome the pain and deep disappointment in the two people I loved and trusted most in the world, But I am strong and have hopes of making a new and better life for myself. May they both enjoy each other with their guilt and deception. They aren't worth my thoughts anymore.

11:01 AM Thursday, November 20, 2008 - 0 comments

So the show opens with a photo shoot and I immediately wish that I was watching Models, Inc. instead of this show. (Sidenote: I loved the opening for Models, Inc, especially the part when Carrie Ann Moss whips that cape on the runway.  She was fierce.  And had the “wow factor”.) I mean, I love Making the Team, but this season is really no different than last season.  Plus I don’t feel a connection to any of the Rookies, like I did last year.  I pulled for Julia 2.0, Natalie, and even Loni–she of the pretty hair and poor kicks–yet this year, I just feel like all the girls have long blonde hair and respond to the name “Jordan”. 

Anyway, the girls are in uniform getting their publicity stills taken, even though they may be cut from the squad before the film is developed.  The purpose of this photo shoot is to see if the girls are photogenic.  Apparently, if a girl’s not the best dancer, but she looks great in pictures, she may have a shot at making the squad.  Stephanie, a Rookie who I don’t recall ever seeing before, is described by Kelli as being not glamorous.  Which means she probably lacks the wow factor.  Which means that she’ll probably be called into Kelli’s office. Aww, the return of foreshadowing. 

We move on to Sunni, a Rookie, who I recall seeing in a past episode, who interviews that she doesn’t want to be cut.  You know on The Amazing Race when someone says something like “We’ve had really good luck with taxis and airplanes and we don’t want that to end” and then later in that episode they’re stuck in a cab with three blown tires and a driver who just wants to take smoke breaks?  Well, couple that with the fact that Sunni is prominently featured in tonight’s episode and not only has foreshadowing returned but it’s also smacked us in the face.

Also, what’s up with the poses?  Last year, I made fun of the bizarre white ottoman that all the girls were asked to drape themselves on, but this year it’s absent and I miss it.  I don’t understand the lack of props; I know we’re in a recession and all, but couldn’t they have at least bought one of those horses kids ride on in front of K-Mart?  Or an inflatable cactus?  Something.  This year, the big thing is posing with your armpits in the air a la Beyonce.  There’s also the “I’m going to put one leg in the air and smile really wide” and the “these belt loops are great places to put my fingers”.   Of course, winner of the Derek Zoolander School for Cheerleaders who Pose Good Award is Judy, who jumps into her daughter’s photo shoot and starts acting ca-razy!  I really think this has been Judy’s breakthrough season.  I mean, she’s cried, she’s been nervous, she’s been enthusiastic, and now she’s playfully smacking her daughter’s leg during a photo shoot.  If there was an Emmy Award to be handed out for best Professional Cheerleading Choreographer in a Reality Series about Cheerleaders on a Country Station…well it would definitely have Judy’s name all over it.

In a private clinic, Justine helps Rookie Melissa work on her routines.  This is pretty straight forward and then all of a sudden, that horrible T.A.T.U “Friend or Foe” song chimes in.  Really, this is the best CMT can do?  I don’t know how many times this song has been played on the show, but I’m sure it could qualify for retirement on Total Request Live

In a stunning deviation from the show’s traditional format, we don’t have a fitness segment this week.  It’s like my long, national nightmare is over.  Instead, the cheerleaders head over to DFW Airport to save goodbye to our soldiers as they head over to the Middle East.  It’s a really nice moment that exemplifies the community service that the cheerleaders perform over the year.  Plus, no Jay.

At rehearsal, Kelli announces that a special guest judge is in the house!  I immediately hope for Linda Grey.  Instead it’s Charlotte Jones-Anderson.  Seriously though, I think if they invited Linda Grey she would be available.  I mean, I hope she’s not sitting around, waiting for the producers of 90210 to call her back to play Ethan’s grandmother.  Back to the actual storyline, Charlotte, Judy and Kelli call out four Rookies to dance alongside four Vets.  It’s a dance-off!  They should have just called David Bowie to judget this.  We don’t get any critique afterwards, just a stonefaced look from Kelli.  Uh oh.  Appearing in her office tonight: Alyssa, Sunni, and Cathie.

Cathie is in first.  According to her, she’s surprised since she’s never been called in before.  Kelli begins by saying that she’s not in line with the Veterans and that tonight will be her last night.  Doesn’t Kelli know that Cathie came in first and therefore should be safe?  Although, I guess I like that they’re at least keep something fresh on this show.

Alyssa is second.  While I expected the extremely rare, triple elimination, Kelli clears her to dance again after telling her that she needs to work harder.

Sunni is third and I worry about her immediately when Kelli opens up with the “you’re a very impressive lady” speech.  Sunni seems to be struggling with stamina issues and therefore will not be moving on. 

Next week: The girls get their boots, Jay returns with a lame assignment involving pom poms and a veteran could be cut!

5:46 PM Friday, October 31, 2008 - 0 comments
"It is a beauty, you know, for one to sit down an meditate of righteousness. To keep you heart steady. You sit down an meditate of goodness an righteousness an what de Father did promise you to enjoy. De meek shall enjoy de earth! An der is NO death! Der is no worry. You na hav to face no temptation. No grief. no pain. So at dat time, you become 'newborn'. You jus fresh all de while now! Yes, yes. It is a positive. But, watch me... de Creator dat create de heaven an de earth, Him sey dat before Him a speak ONE WORD in vain... He da pass all heaven an earth! An heaven an earth nah pass!! But only a seal it. Seal de word! So everything mus come to fullness, you see. So, a POSITIVE. Positive, yes. I GLAD to see Rasta!!"

5:28 PM Friday, October 31, 2008 - 0 comments

So much things to say bago ko maexpress ang aking sarili bilang isang Pilipinong nabitag sa tugtuging reggae at paniniwalang Rasta.
Ganito kasarap mahalin ang aking buhay..
Kulang pa ang isang video upang mailarawan ang mga biyaya at kaligayahan na aking natangap bilang isang indibidwal na isinuko ang kanyang buhay sa buhay Rasta...
10:39 AM Friday, October 31, 2008 - 1 comments

We have all had are hearts broken at least once in our lives. There has been that one person that we have loved with all our heart and has not returned that love. When you wake up to that reality you feel like your world has shattered. You feel like you will never love that way again. He is all you think of and becomes your world.

You ask yourself why is this happening to me? Am I not good enough? What's wrong with me? Then, as time goes by, you get the answers to your questions. You begin to realize that it all happened for a reason. You realize the he is not the one for you.

The more you analyze the person you begin to see the differences. You realize that you don't know that person like you thought you did and they don't know you. Then comes the understanding that you deserve someone who will love, cherish, appreciate you and never take you for granted.

Once you reach this point, the pain of never having him starts to minimize. It becomes a learning experience. You learn more about yourself. You learn to recognize the qualities you do want in a person. You learn that you will love again and even stronger.

When two people love each other mutually and give to each other freely that love grows and matures. If it were not for the experience of our broken heart and those lessons we learned along the way we would not be the loving, understanding people we become.

All past hurts teach us and mold us in becoming better people, which give us the tools to create successful relationships. If you are experiencing a broken heart just remember even though you have been hurt and disappointed love will come again just HOPE!

3:09 PM Thursday, October 30, 2008 - 0 comments

Nothing is as painful,
As unforgiveness to the soul.
A heart that's torn asunder,
With forgiveness becomes whole.

A single kind word spoken,
Means more than countless words.
The three words, "I forgive you,"
Are all that need be heard.

To a soul that has been wounded,
Like a healing, cooling balm.
Forgiveness soothes and comforts,
Till at last the soul is calm.

For the soul that seeks forgiveness,
When forgiveness can't be found.
It struggles vainly everyday,
To hear that simple sound.

The power in those three kind words,
Can heal a heart that's broken.
But that heart cannot begin to heal,
As long as words remain unspoken.

Compassion in it's purest sense,
Reside in those three words.
The three words, "I forgive you,"
Are all that need be heard.

1:58 PM Thursday, October 30, 2008 - 0 comments
In front of the person you love, your heart beats faster
But in front of the person you like , you get happy.

In front of the person you love, winter seems like spring
But in front of the person you like, winter is just a beautiful winter.

If you look into the eyes of the one you love, you blush
But if you look into the eyes of the one you like, you smile.

In front of the person you love, you can' t say everything on your mind
But in front of the person you like, you can.

In front of the person you love, you tend to get shy
But in front of the person you like, you can show your ownself.

Then person you love comes into your mind every 2 minutes.
You can't look straight into the eyes of the one you love
But you can always smile into the eyes of the one you like.

When the one you love is crying, you cry with them
But when the one you like is crying, you end up comforting.

The feeling of love starts from the eye
And the feeling of like starts from the ear.

So if you stop liking a person you used to like
All you need to do is cover your ears,
But if you try to close your eyes
Love turns into a drop of tear and remains in your heart forever after.

1:54 PM Thursday, October 30, 2008 - 1 comments

Be a friend. You don't need money;
Just a disposition sunny;
Just the wish to help another
Get along some way or other;
Just a kindly hand extended
Out to one who's unbefriended;
Just the will to give or lend,
This will make you someone's friend.

Be a friend. You don't need glory.
Friendship is a simple story.
Pass by trifling errors blindly,
Gaze on honest effort kindly,
Cheer the youth who's bravely trying,
Pity him who's sadly sighing;
Just a little labor spend
On the duties of a friend.

Be a friend. The pay is bigger
(Though not written by a figure)
Than is earned by people clever
In what's merely self-endeavor.
You'll have friends instead of neighbors
For the profits of your labors;
You'll be richer in the end
Than a prince, if you're a friend.